Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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