well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
