She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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