i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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