do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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