so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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