I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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