We're like a lot better than the average bears
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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