i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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