Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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