Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Sober January is a disaster.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
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I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
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There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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