dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
