You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
