if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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