we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
