Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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