I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
