Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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