Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
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