You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I have fence marks all over my body
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
