She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
She's the barista slut.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
