I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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