I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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