Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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