He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
whose parrot is this?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
