What did we do last night that was yellow?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
