Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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