We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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