Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
