My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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