woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
