"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
