Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
