Just fell off a train. Bad.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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