I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
