But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
