butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
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