Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
