After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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