Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize