Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
