That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Farmville is her only friend.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
