I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize