yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
