the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
If that was your dad, he is hot
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
