Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
