with your own penis?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
