I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
