I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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