They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize