4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
