I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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