I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
