But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
