Already got asked if we're dating
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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