Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You are a genius and a whore.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
