You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Randomize
