I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Less talking, more tequila
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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