Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
