Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
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I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
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Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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